Dreams

     Almost everything you see around you started out simply as a dream someone had. They were inspired and moved to create something no one else had seen before; to start something that would inspire and move others. 


     My husband and I have been discussing the issue of dreams and goals for quite some time now. After his close encounter with death, and being reawakened to what God wanted him to do with life (hold it out loosely to Him,) we've been struggling with where to go from here. 


     We made a lot of mistakes early in our marriage (I say early and have to laugh, because we are only now in the third year of marriage.) We sold a car we had gotten for free from a Church. We bought a brand new car on a line of credit we could not afford. We were being led astray by the promise of fortune. We were investing our time in hobbies that were polluting our souls and spirits. I am so very humbled to say it took a finding a brain tumor 1 week before we had our first child to really wake us up. It was a splash of freezing water thrown into our upturned faces.  


     But now on the other side, after our dreams were shattered and taken away within a week, we are left with question marks. We had everything planned out, the next 50 years laid down on paper. In our ignorance and naivety, we were slowly becoming the god's of our own lives. I am glad we realized where we were headed in time, yet it has also made us a little afraid to plan...anything


     We are the kind of people, my husband and I, who want big things out of life. Not money, not fame...but adventure, big love, and an impact on the world for Christ. We are dreamers, big dreamers, and we are young enough that we still have the energy and starry-eyed innocence to chase those dreams down. 


     We want to adopt an orphan in the US, one who has been abused and left alone, one who many would overlook. One like I was. We want to start our own Christian Coffee/Book Shop (we dream and plan late into the night over that one.) We want to travel and reach those for Christ who have never heard His name. We want to be out of debt so we can bless others. We want....


     This is where the fear comes in. All of these things are good. They are praiseworthy and noble. But we've been there before...we had dreams and goals and they were all taken away. Some where noble, some were downright godly. And they were shattered. How many times do you pick your life back up, and keep running with crazy big dreams? I don't want to lose the passion, the love and zest for life that so many do in today's corporate, boring, dull American lifestyle. But I don't want to plan my life out and leave no room for God to lead and move...


     I've always been bad at waiting on God. I don't like surprises and I almost always get my husband to tell me what he got me for my birthday a month ahead of time. I like to know things right now. I can handle them better that way. And I think through all of this God is teaching me to really, truly let go. Not just say I am letting go. But really let go of controlling my future, a future I'm not even promised. When it comes down to it, we can't control our futures. But I don't think it's wrong to plan a little either.

     So maybe the answer lies in just holding these things up to the Lord, moving forward with them until the door closes, then moving on to the next thing we feel led to do...








Comments

  1. Sweet one, never stop dreaming or having hope. When Jesus created you, YOU were HIS dream and hope. A beautiful creation of His love. He made you perfect. He didn't stop there though...He has a purpose and plan for you, just rest in the truth of the beautiful and precious daughter of the King you are. Dare to dream my friend, for Jesus put that dream in you. Your life is a testament of His love...I am so proud of you.

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