My Judah Cub...the story of his birth

November 17th, 2010


2:30 AM, I found myself wide awake and starving. The doctor had said nothing to eat after midnight, and the thought of not being able to go to the fridge and grab something made my stomach rumble in protest. I lay there, trying desperately to go back to sleep. "Today is the big day Marybeth. You need to rest." The words were dull, non-persuasive. 


I rolled out of bed silently and tip-toed out of the bedroom so as not to wake up my husband. He would get the rest, even if I didn't. He had already decided he wasn't going to eat until I could. I tried talking him out of it, but he was so insistent!


Our alarm was set for 4:30AM, we had to be at the hospital at 6, so I crawled into bed and woke him up around 4:18AM. :) We were so tired.


Trying to smile :)
I was super super nervous about going to the hospital. I was really excited, it's true, but I just could not help but be nervous about what could go wrong. I had prayed and given it to the Lord countless times, but it was just coming down to going through it in faith and letting God take care of the rest. Plus, I hate IV's, and was dreading that huge needle sticking out of my arm.

Throughout the prep time, all I could do was stare at my husband and thank God that he was there. My husband was there right beside me, the entire time. He wasn't on the couch, ready to pass out after having surgery, and he wasn't in his own recovery room. He was healed, and giving me all the love and support I needed. I was drawn to tears countless times as he stared into my eyes and offered comfort and wordless love. I hadn't realized how much I needed this time to be better, to be free from stress and drama. But when he looked at me and his eyes were clear and his grip strong, I knew it was only by a miracle of God that I survived Jeremiah's birth.


When they were taking Judah out of me, he was being really stubborn and wouldn't come. They had to really pull and twist, and I have never felt closer to death in my life. I was crying out and felt like all my insides were being pushed up into my head. I am pretty sure Trevor was freaking out on the inside, because when Judah was finally born seconds later and they handed him to him, Trevor got really pale and broke out in a sweat. His eyes were glazing over and he looked  like he was going to be sick. 



My heart stopped. I had seen this look before. It was happening again. He was sick and his brain surgery was acting up and he was going to pass out and leave me all alone...I started crying and saying Trevor's name and everyone kept on telling me it was alright, that he was just fine. Trevor left the operating room while one of our friends held Judah, and I just cried. He finally came back in and he held me and reassured me he was alright....I stopped crying and just kept my eyes on him. 

Judah was born at 7:50am, and boy did he not want to be on the outside of Mama! He cried and screamed and the nurses laughed. He had a very good set of lungs on him! I laughed through tears as he squawked and screamed.





When they wheeled me into my room, Trevor took the baby as they transfered me to my bed. I noticed Trevor's head was down and I asked him if he was alright. He shook his head no and I automatically whispered, "Get the baby..." The nurses were talking and not paying attention and I said it louder, "Get the baby!" But they still didn't hear me. I yelled at them as Trevor almost passed out and they got there right in time. He made it to the bathroom and got sick. 

I can't tell you what I looked like as I waited for Trevor to come out of the bathroom. But I can tell you I was a nervous wreck on the inside. The tears slid down my face silently and I prayed to God that he was alright. All I could think about was doing this alone, on my own, and how I couldn't possibly do it without him. I don't even remember where Judah was this whole time, although I'm pretty sure I was holding him. 

When Trevor came out later, he was fine and really confused as to what happened. We didn't really know what it was, but it freaked me out and I didn't enjoy the flashback, not at all. We praised God that he was feeling better, and cherished every moment together with our new little son. 


Looking back on it, we decided a huge factor in his almost passing out and getting sick was because he wouldn't eat anything, and the stress of the situation on him. We're pretty sure it had nothing to do with his brain surgery the year before. But can you really blame me for freaking out? How similar it was!!
My first time holding him...
LOVE


We were so blessed by family and friends who were able to be there, physically and spiritually, offering prayers and emotional support. We thank everyone who visited and has brought meals, has watched Jeremiah, or has helped clean. You are so appreciated. 



Comments

  1. so sweet!!!
    sent your package off friday :)

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  2. Oh, this made me cry! I am so happy that Trevor got to be there with you this time! I know I wouldn't be able to have gone through everything without James by my side and holding my hand! I so desperately needed his hand to squeeze quiet often! Praise God that even though he was sick and not feeling well, that he could be there with you! God gives us the strength when we don't have it! Love you Marybeth and your little family of four is just precious!

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  3. That was a WONDERFUL story! I'm so glad you decided to share. I'm so very glad that Trevor was able to be there, fully, with you (even if he felt a little sick at times).

    You're all very, very blessed.

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