I deactivated my Facebook account, hallelujah
I've done this once before, and the outcome was incredible. The deactivation lasted for about 7 months, and during that time God used the break to show me many things. He used that time to help me realize that I was addicted to the never ending stream of people's updates, reading conversations I had no right to, and updating people on things in my life that they had no right knowing, and probably didn't even care to know.
Today, I was overwhelmed with the idea of keeping up with my Facebook friendships. Right now, the season I am in, I am craving real, intimate, personal relationship with people, and I believe Facebook is standing in the way of that. Some can have deep friendships and still be immersed in Facebook World. I cannot. I use it as excuse to not call friends, not call family, not make an effort to deepen new friendships. And I'm so tired of pretending to be somebody I'm not, updating my statuses to portray this godly, has-it-all-together, happy go lucky woman. That, I am not. And I've come to realize that that is why I blog. To show people I am not perfect, and that I struggle just like everyone else.
It's so easy to portray oneself as perfect when you update people about your life via short splurbs you get inspire to write on a whim.
"God is so good!"
"Praise God, my day is going so well!"
"I am so blessed to be a stay at home Mommy."
Even if your statuses are a little less Mother Teresa, you can still pretty them up so they don't come across as ugly or as terrible as you are really feeling in that moment.
"I am having a horrible day, but praise God for coffee!"
"My children are driving me crazy, but I am so blessed to have them."
Is it only me, or does that sound kind of...not human? Those are what my statuses have become lately. I am so consumed with how I portray myself to the world, that I have forgotten who I truly am.
Or if you do have a status that, Heaven forbid, comes across as complaining, such as:
"My life sucks."
"I am feeling horrible today and nothing is making me feel better."
"I'm cranky and irritated and nobody better cross me or I'll punch them in the neck."
...people take the opportunity to give you unwarranted advice, or reasons why you should not feel that way. Give me a break people, just read it and move on and stop trying to fix it.
Frankly, I'm sick of it. And I'm tired of feeling stressed out by it. Facebook doesn't control my life. But it is. Facebook doesn't control my emotions. But it is. And so I did what I had to do. I deleted myself from the Facebook world.
I wish there were some way to forever delete yourself from Facebook. The fact that you can resign in at any time and have all your friends, info, and statuses exactly how you left them, is all-together too tempting.
So, there is my rant for the day. I'm not sure when or if I will reactivate my Facebook account. That doesn't concern me. What concerns me is the fact that I have children who need a present Mother. I have spent too many moments glued to the computer, delving into the world of someone thousands of miles away, whom I will most likely never see in my life, while my child sits on the floor, quietly reading to himself, like he is doing as I write this blog. =/
I truly wish everybody would delete Facebook and focus on the reality right in front of them. But that's like asking everyone to give up coffee and learn to survive and cope with situations on their own/God's strength. Not gonna happen. Sad, but true.
Hope this finds you very present wherever you are in this moment.