This is hard.

     Honestly, I have been avoiding blogging. Since giving up Facebook, I have been going through a lot internally. 
     Here I am, no Facebook profile, feeling a little out of the loop and lonely when it comes to this big cyber-world of social networking, and trying to desperately seek the love and support I need from healthy places. Like Jesus. That Guy can put a smile on my face faster than I can reactivate my Facebook profile. And I can do that all-together too quickly.
      Not having a Facebook is not easy. I'm not going to pretend like I don't sign into my husband's account every now and then, just to see what my friends are up to. But I had 800 friends, and Facebook is pretty boring when my husband only has 80. 
     But you know what? It's been so worth it. I have been spending so much time with my babies. I am present in my life. I am present with the husband. I have had coffee and dinner with some good friends, and it has been so good to just connect outside of Facebook, and really focus on the reality of who they really are. 
     Having a real life friendship is hard work, and Facebook cheapens it. It really does. If my friends want to hang out with me and know what's going on in my life, they'll call me. Or text me, now that I have unlimited minutes (woop!) If I want to know how they are doing, I will call them. It's a pretty easy concept, but one that has been lost with the all-too-convenient click of a "like" button or short comment on someone's status. People really think that's good communication between people. Just Facebook. Maybe acquaintanceship, but not friendship. 
     I feel like I have to put a disclaimer at the end of my blogs nowadays that I am only stating my opinion and that you don't have to agree with it. And I don't like that. I know I am stepping on some toes when I write the words, "Facebook is a cheap excuse for a relationship/friendship. Get off the internet and spend some time with your children/family/God." But you know what? That's really a good thing.  
      Hear those words, and if they convict you, praise God. I read those words not too long ago and I was deeply convicted. Granted, it was stated a bit more eloquently and was explained a lot better than what I have been doing, but life is crazy right now and I just sorta sit and write whatever comes to mind at this point. 
     Nobody has to read my blog. I hope you do, because I write so that people can see what my life is about, my family's beliefs and how God has transformed us and taken us from a place of absolute rock-bottom, to a place of peace and healing. I write to express myself, because frankly, I suck at talking to people face-to-face. I'm working on that. Kinda. 
     Blah. I'm messy. My life is messy. And I am learning how to love myself through it all. I'm learning how to believe that God loves me, and that people aren't really out to get me. If you've read to this point, thank you for giving me 10 minutes of your life. You really didn't have to read all of this. But I'm glad you did. Because now you know a little bit more about me, and why I sneak out of a crowded room too soon. 

May you know that God adores you...

 (stay tuned for a blog post about my blog. where it will be going. etc.)



  1. Sometimes real life friendships are hard... but they're worth it, I agree.

    Well, unlimited texts? Awesome. Text me. Let's get together soon! Not just at book club, either.

  2. My hubby has asked that I not be on Facebook and honestly I was a little bummed at first. But I praise God every day that I don't have another online attraction to go to when I really need to spend more time with Him and my family.

  3. Yay! Unlimited minutes!! I just text you!! hehe! Don't worry about the not talking around people thing... I'm totally just like that until I know someone well enough to speak first :)

  4. P.S. I would deactivate FaceBook if it weren't for the many family members and friends outside of SD. They cherish the photos I post and emailing everyone photos would be so much work. I think there can be a good balance :)

  5. @Ambrosia- There definitely CAN be a great balance! I admire the people who can be on Facebook and have it not overtake their lives. I am definitely not one of those people.

  6. Jonathan D.7/17/11, 9:50 PM

    Like. ;)

    I'm glad you're growing from this. I have been contemplating removing myself from Facebook for a while now. Your decision has moved me closer to taking that step. It's lonely where I live and most of my friends are long distance currently so it's a hard step for me. But half the reason for the loneliness of the place I'm in is probably because I waste time on Facebook instead of interacting with neighbors and those I meet. It seems Facebook encourages you live in your past and in a false reality rather than the present in real life.

    I don't comment often, but I really enjoy reading your blog. You, your life, and your family are an encouragement. Give yourself to those and not to Facebook ;)

  7. :( I think you can be. You are an extremely busy lady! Super Momma and Wife!! I think I would break-down daily and lose my mind if I were as busy as you are. You are so passionate about everything you do and I never hear or see you complain. That has to mean something :)

  8. @Jonathan D- :) Thank you friend. Your words encourage me. It's so true that Facebook can encourages you to live in your past and not venture out to gain new friends or explore the world outside of your little Facebook World. Even just a hiatus of sorts is extremely beneficial. It's so refreshing. You wouldn't imagine all the free time you suddenly have!

    @Ambrosia- Oh my! Maybe I am too good at hiding my complaints :S Most days I do NOT feel like Super Mama and Wife! Passionate yes, but that's partly to blame on my perfectionism. Not the greatest reason to be passionate about life. Your words are sweet nonetheless. Thank you. =) Perhaps one day soon I will rejoin FB and delete everyone I don't talk to on a daily basis. That would help. haha!

  9. True! I don't completely agree that "FB causes you to live in the past with a false reality rather than the present and real life"

    You can have tons of fantastic friends in the now who you spend time with regularly, and still keep up with great friends and family who unfortunately you have moved on from for one reason or another. I don't think that is "false reality."

    Either way, there are many opinions for both sides of good FB'ing or bad FB'ing and it really all comes down to good self control so that you can have a little tech friend and family catch up time for yourself and also spend plenty more time with your friends and family :)

    You do just fine with both :)

  10. I went through this when I got rid of mine, too. But life is so much simpler with it gone. Social networking absolutely does cheapen friendships. Makes it way too easy...and feeds our humanistic desires instead of making us rely on Christ for our motivation/encouragement/morale boosting. I no longer feel like I need my facebook "friends" to pat my back every few hours throughout the day and that is SO FREEING!
    Blessing to you, dear lady. You can do this! :)

  11. @Ambrosia- Facebook does make it easier for people to stay connected to people from the past, and only those people. Of course that's someone's choice, but it's so easy to get caught up in only having friends online. I've been there. It's a hard line to walk, juggling real life with your online life. It was one that just wasn't worth it to me.

    @LeAnna- "...feeds our humanistic desires instead of making us rely on Christ for our motivation/encouragement/moral boosting. I no longer feel like I need my facebook "friends" to pay my back every few hours throughout the day..." I SO hear you on this! I remember a while ago when I got my blackberry, and the guy at the Verizon store said, "People love the Blackberry. They live for when it's flashing red, because that means somebody messaged/talked to them." And I realize that people do that with Facebook. I did. You watch for those "notifications" and you start to base your self-worth on how many you had during the day, or how many comments you got on a certain status. It's been a struggle for me to give that up. And it's been a struggle to not desire that with my blog. I have to really keep myself in check with blogging...a certain number of comments does not make me more loved. It's so hard when the world is screaming at you that the more friends/money/fame you have, the better a person you are. I'm really trying to focus on God giving me what I have been looking to people for: security, fulfillment, contentment, peace and VALIDATION. Thanks for the comment and encouragement!

    Did you guys know there was a way to PERMANENTLY delete your FB? I'm going to download all my pictures soon and take the plunge. The feedback from tonight has really confirmed this in my heart. Thanks everyone for your input! I appreciate you all so much!

  12. Ps I had to get rid of my Blackberry eventually because it was ruling my life. It was sick. I am so glad I did that!

  13. Oh, Marybeth, I love your honesty and transparency. I must say, however, that you do NOT suck at talking to people face-to-face! I love conversing with you, and I think you are a beautiful person. Maybe large groups are not your thing, and that's okay. Large groups are hard...and tend to be socially superficial, and that's just not you. I love you, friend.

  14. Oh...I forgot to sign my name. I'm not really "Anonymous"...I'm Roo. :-)

  15. I love your heart of obedience. Facebook isn't too big of a problem for me. Although I am sure I could spend less time there. And then on some days, I want to toss my iPhone out the window. I mean seriously, when you take it to the bathroom with you, they you need therapy.

    Looking forward to your next post.

  16. For me its all about moderation. I do not spend time on facebook. Just pop on for a moment and then I'm done. My husband enjoys it a lot and I do use it to stay in contact with my business friends.
    Thank you for being a new friend at Katherines Corner. Hugs and God Bless


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