Why I'm not Super Mom

I saw this mug a while back as our family was thrift store shopping... I picked it up off the shelf and smiled, putting it back, moving on. A few minutes later my husband found me, holding that very same mug, grinning, saying, "I'm buying you this mug! It's perfect!" 


I just stared at him, unsure of what he meant. 


99% of the time, I do not feel like Super Mom. I feel exactly the opposite. And I know my faults and weaknesses too well... the other 1% is when I can get them all to sleep at the same time so I can have some "Mommy time." 


This morning, as I read through Chapter 3 of "The Power of a Praying Parent," the chapter on praying for your children to feel loved and accepted...I cried tears of fear, tears of worry...


And I realized why I don't feel like a good mom. Not even Super Mom, but just a good Mom. 


I don't feel loved and accepted. 


I am not secure in the fact that I am loved, safe, secure. I am still that little girl who is hiding, hoping Daddy doesn't come in and find me, for I'm sure he'll dislike me for what I did. That little girl who just wants to be loved, but is afraid to step out and be herself, for fear of rejection. 


I can't love my kids, my husband, the world, until I believe I am loved. Loved by Love Himself. 

Stormie says, 


"Rejection brings out the worst in people. Love and acceptance bring out the best. A person who already feels rejected interprets everything as rejection- a mere look, a harmless word, an insignificant action- while someone who feels loved and accepted thinks nothing of the same look, word, or action....The love of God, however, can change all this. Knowing that God loves and accepts us changes our lives. He {God} says, 


"I have chosen you and not cast you away" (Isaiah 41:9)

"I have loved you with an everlasting love" (Jeremiah 31:3) 

Some may find it easy to believe they are loved. A lot of us can't. 

But we must! Oh, we must, for we are! And believing and accepting that truth can change our lives forever. Can change our families. The world. 

As I said the words "I am loved," "I am accepted," out loud after I finished reading that chapter, more tears came...only tears of healing this time. 


I am loved! We are loved, friends. That little girl, the one who could never trust anyone to love her, she was loved the whole time. I believe that. 


I won't automatically become Super Mom once I fully believe I am loved, accepted, forgiven...but, as horribly corny as this sounds...I can be a super Mom. 



But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: 
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

Comments

  1. Oh, I can relate to this so much... sigh.
    I've been feeling this way a lot lately....unloved, uncared for, scared, insecure...the list goes on and on.

    I believe its for the same reasons you wrote about! I know that He loves me, but I don't feel it...not down to my heart, really. So sad. I need to get to that place.

    I also need to read that book! Are you reading it on the Kindle?

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    1. I need to get to that place too...hard part is doing it. I'm sure it takes daily renewal of the mind, relearning who we are in Christ, unlearning what Satan has taught us these past 20+ years...but it will be worth it...so worth it.

      I am reading it as a paperback. I got it from someone once and just never read it. I LOVE it so far. It is a MUST for every parent!

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  2. 1. this is huge and GOOD! i'm so excited for you and cheer you on as you walk in this and grow in knowing His love!

    2. "Rejection brings out the worst in people. Love and acceptance bring out the best." convicted

    3. just like you ended with that verse, i encourage you to look up and write out/memorize others that speak of His love for you. John 3:16, gal 2:20, 1 John 4:9-11, romans 8;37-39, i Jhn 3:1,

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    1. Thank you for the cheering! I need it!

      I will definitely be looking up those verses pronto! And memorizing them. Nothing like the Truth to crowd out the lies in your mind and heart...

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  3. It is SOOO hard to believe we are loved! Sometimes, I (admittedly, and ashamedly) question my husband. "Do you REALLY love me?" or more often, "HOW in the WORLD can you really love me?!" I try to love myself, and I find that most days, I can, at least for part of the day, and more often lately, the majority of the day. But then I feel like I've done something to fail, and I feel like I'm probably not as loved as I think I am.

    Thank goodness God lets us know otherwise. Ack! I've been much better about feeling it over the past two years or so, than ever before in my life, and I think it's allowed me to begin to develop even deeper, greater relationships with people I already knew, and also branch out into meeting new people, who I like to think, in some small way, love me a little too.

    I LOVE you. :)

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    1. I know...it takes SO little for me to believe the lie that I am unloved. The day can be going so well and then the littlest thing can happen...

      Thanks for the comment Nicole, and your openness on this topic! MUCH much love!

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  4. Footnote: Isn't it AMAZING how your husband can see past your parenting flaws and tell you that you're an amazing mother, when you feel the opposite? Gosh.

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    1. Yes, it is amazing. He is pretty incredible. :)

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