On God's Arm


It was one of those mornings you pull the covers back over your head, cringing as your husband quietly peeks into the darkness of the bedroom for the 3rd time, whispering if you want to get up yet. You keep silent, feigning deep sleep. “I just lived through a day. I was just a mama yesterday. It is the same, everyday.” These words bubbled up from some deep, empty place in the barrenness of a dry and thirsty soul.

I pulled myself out of bed with every fiber of courage I could scrape up and splashed ice cold water onto my lifeless face. Words from the conversation the night before, between my husband and me, echoed back at me like daggers…”Depression. Can’t do it. Alone. Tired. Afraid.” I willed the words away, willed my mind to clear, to empty. I could do this. I had to do this. No choice.

I sat on my couch and picked up my husband’s old Android phone, now mine. There are no calls made from it, but it works with wireless, and there is just something about that You Version Bible App that I adore. I wanted to find that verse, ‘weeping may last for the night, but joy comes with morning,” and find out if I had taken it out of context somewhere along the line. I did a quick search, and there it was. I clicked on it, and began reading.

But it hadn’t taken me to the verse. Instead, I found myself in Isaiah 40. “That’s weird. Oh well. I’ll just read here instead.”

That whole chapter is phenomenal. The very first word is ‘comfort.’ I kept reading. Talk of crooked places being made straight, every mountain brought low, rough places being made smooth. My soul was drinking in refreshing hope faster than I could read. And then one verse stopped me in my place, and I was completely floored by the words I was reading…

“Behold, the Lord God shall come with a strong hand…
[He will] gently lead those who are with young.”
vs. 10,11


I just cried. I know he’s talking about sheep and lambs, but this is me. He is my shepherd. These words are a promise to a dying, gasping for air mama-heart. Not only will God lead us, Mamas, he will lead us gently with a strong arm. Like the times I stub my toe or my bad knee goes out, and my husband is there to extend his strong arm so I can lean and use his strength when I have none…God’s arm is outstretched, and His eyes, wild with love for us, beckoning us to give up this pretense that we can do any of this on our own, He is there waiting to carry us the rest of the way.

And today, just a couple days after that verse rocked my mama-world, as I kneeled at that same couch and pleaded with God to gently lead me with His strong arm, I read these words in Psalm 18.

“Your right hand has held me up,
Your gentleness has made me great.”
vs. 35


There are no coincidences with God Almighty. He is not some cold God up in Heaven, only concerned with matters that are above us, content to just grow trees and be worshiped  He is a personal God who cares deeply, cares intimately about His people.

This mama-thing is hard. Some days I want to give up. I really do. The thought has crossed my mind, friends. But God is stronger than our fears and our depression. God is bigger than the doubts and questions. God has His arm outstretched, saying, “Mama, take it, let’s do this together. You don’t have to do this alone. You. Can. Do. This!” Yep, God is cheering us on. He knows we are capable of loving our children, by His grace and power. He knows we are capable of holding our tongue when we want to yell, and He knows we are capable of praising our kids and uplifting them instead. A few days ago I did not truly believe I could be the mama I always wanted to be. Now I know that on God’s arm, I am the mama I never dreamed I could be. 

Comments

  1. Thank you for this. You don't know how much I needed to hear this and be refreshed by God's Word! There is just something about being in this mama role to small children that strips you of all pride and self-sufficiency. I hate it, and yet I love it, as it has brought me to new depths of reliance and trust in my Savior. Your words are an encouragement to me and you are a fantastic mother to absolutely beautiful boys. I am with you in all these emotions and struggles and joys! I have told God far more times than I care to admit that He picked the wrong girl to be in my role. That I can't do it. And then, He always sends some special blessing to remind me that He indeed knows what He is doing. Like last night when Asher told me he wanted to marry me. And that I could be the flower girl when he later married Liesl. My heart melted as much as when Ryan proposed!

    Much love,
    Angie

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    1. Angie, I am so glad God was able to refresh and encourage you through this. That is my heart's cry, that other mama's, even if it's just one, would take courage and comfort through my words. I love God's little blessings, to remind us that He has indeed picked the right lady for the job...I love your stories. So sweet. I wish we lived closer, I feel as if we could be good friends :)

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  2. God is our sufficiency in all things. Great post. God Bless!

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