My life the Circus {and how I survive...sorta}

One of my dear friends has made the comment that having 3 under 3 (or, now, 3, three and under) is almost more difficult than having triplets. Her reasoning is that triplets are all at the same stage. But with 3, three and under, the stages are staggered. I could not agree more...

I have a 3 year old, who is learning to potty train, has started the "Why?" phase, loves to tell me how to drive, and has 3 more years until he can go to Kindergarten (help me). He is stubborn and can't really play by himself very long. 

I have a 2 year old who loves to throw toys, books, really anything he can pick up, at people's heads, run and jump on his little brother, and loves to refuse to do anything he doesn't want to do, unless he gets to choose himself, but even then it's a hit and miss, even by the 5th time of us offering him a choice. Does that even make sense? And he's a freakin' Evel Knievel. One of his favorite pastimes is jumping off of the couch onto a tile floor, 2 feet below. One of the first things he did when he got his electric truck for his birthday, was stand on the seat with no hands jumping up and down. Did I mention this one is asking to use the potty as well, and loves it when the pee comes out and soaks the carpet?


And I have a 9 month old who's teething, which means naps are out the window 4 days out of 7, and who has just weened himself off of baby food. He is now crawling, which means all the tiny toys, food, dirty diapers, dirty clothes, EVERYTHING has to be up off of the floor. Ok, the dirty diapers are a duh {gross, right?}, but with a 3 year old and a 2 year old, I'm pretty sure after the first 2 days of him crawling and me trying to keep the floors clean, I'm dying in every way just trying to make sure he's not eating dominoes (the game, not the pizza) Hot Wheels, or party decorations. 


OK. I have painted a picture of all that happens in one day. Everyday. Now add literal mountains of laundry, dishes for 4-5 people every meal, a bathroom with pee all over the floors ever 2 hours, toy cockroaches in my kitchen, a marriage that needs tended to, not to even mention my own spiritual/emotional/physical/mental health to attend to, plus all the errands and business stuff to take care of that comes with running a house...welcome to the Thielke Circus. 

Please don't hear me complaining. I cherish my time staying at home with my boys. Every single day Trevor and I look at each other and laugh, loving this chaos. You really have to accept the chaos, or you would go crazy. The fighting, the screaming, the whining, the messes...if there is one thing I have learned about being a mom of 3, 3 and under, it's how to just let. things. go. And not take hold of them time and time again. 

But it's HARD. Being a mommy, no matter how many children you have, no matter their ages, is HARD. There have been so many times when I have shut myself in my bedroom for a few minutes and sunk to my knees sobbing, begging God to give me the patience, the kindness, the love these children need every second of every day. Begging Him to change my heart and fix me so I can be an "amazing" Mommy RIGHT NOW. 

I fail a lot. I apologize a lot. The other day, Trevor had 3 days off in a row. I hadn't had time to myself for quite a long while. Maybe over a week. I woke up on his 3rd day off just so out of it. I was cranky, I was tired, I was emotionally drained and completely and utterly just done. So with tears in my eyes, I told Trevor I needed to leave and be by myself for a really long time. I was gone for 5 1/2 hours. By myself. For the first time in I just don't even know how long. 

Some of you have asked me "How do you do it?! How do you survive?!" This is my secret. It's important to do things that you love to do, away from your children. This is what keeps me sane (along with quiet time with Jesus every morning). It doesn't make me a bad mom to desire this. I would not be a healthy or sane mommy for my children if I never got a break from them. Even mom's who have 1 kid, or all their kids spaced far(ther) out than mine. 


You still need you time. Some mamas work. Some mamas have photography. Some go the movies by themselves. Some go browsing in Target for hours. Some work out while their kids are in the provided daycare. Or like me, sometimes I drive, with no music on, windows down, and just breathe. I've done all of the above (minus work, obviously). The important thing is that you get away, clear your head, regroup, get out of your house. Alone. Not every day maybe, but once a week, once every 3 days? 

Do you agree with me? Is this a foreign concept for you? How do you make time for just you?  I'm not talking about grocery shopping alone (your mind is still on your house and kids) or Facebook-ing after the kids go to bed. A lot of time that's when we're faced with a messy house and an exhausted husband and all you want to do is just space out. That is not refreshing. Not really. 

I'm talking about actively setting aside time to get out of the house and just be you. It's hard for my husband and I to find that time. But we do, because we've realized that it refreshes me, and makes me miss my kids while I'm away. It makes me a better mommy. If we can do it, you can to. 




Apples of Gold

Comments

  1. Thank you for being real. So often I just want to give up. It's so hard being unselfish all the time for our child(ren). Alone time is SO important. A healthy, happy mama really does make healthy, happy children.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think as Mom's we have this need to be everything for everyone all the time. And we just can't. Not realistically. A lot more moms struggle with this than I think let on. Maybe they don't think "they" need the time off from their kids, but I think for every mom it's a healthy habit. Thank you for the comment Miranda!!!!

      Delete
  2. I agree with you full heartedly. I always feel like I need to just get away and be by myself and do something i love ... But I find it hard to set aside time for me a lot because I work and when I am home I just wanna see my kids and hubby... I am glad to know o am not the only one that needs time away .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is hard...especially when you work and you are away from your kids and your husband. Trevor finds it hard to get away just himself as well. but he works out and loves the time alone doing that. He does that while I blog some nights, and then he watches the boys while I get out of the house. It definitely takes practice and sacrifice on both the husband and wife's part! thanks for the comment Tiffany!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Thank you for taking the time to comment!

Popular Posts