Join me for coffee today...?


I'm sitting here on my couch, windows open and violent wind shaking the blinds, and I am grasping my now cold cup of coffee, and I invite you to sit with me for a while. Feel the cool breeze, listen to my heart, and pretend we are here together, enjoying and living friendship and fellowship.

I would jump up real quick to reheat my coffee, then settle back down and look you in the eyes and ask you how you are doing? I feel so caught up in the trials of my life right now, I just yearn to hear how you are doing. How has life been for you? What were your triumphs, your tears, your simple joys, the things that tempted you to want to cuss out loud?

Me? How am I doing? {{Insert big sigh}}

I would tell you how my heart just really honestly breaks for my husband. He has started a new job as a paper guy, and he has to get up at 2am right now. It will get later in the morning once he gets the route down, but I see it wearing on him, heart, soul, body. And I wish I could just infuse him with the strength of 10 men, and I sorta can, so I am on my knees, praying and begging God to uphold him and make the few hours of sleep he gets to multiply and heal him in the depths.

I would tell you that I feel hopeless about the state of my house. It's like a pack of rabid monkeys came through searching for the golden banana and couldn't find it so got angry and trashed the house beyond the ruin their search left. Laundry and dishes and more laundry and toys that have long lost the way to their home. I feel out of control and stressed when my house is a mess. I try to clean, but with 4 toddlers, they empty and mess and dump faster than I can wipe and put away and organize. I'm trying to let go and just do what I can, but it's hard. And it's ok. It's ok that it's hard right now. It won't be like this forever.

My sister is coming to live with us today. I'm nervous, we clash when things get stressful, and we'll have 7 people under 1 roof, a small roof when there is 7 people living under it. Yet I'm not as nervous as I was, because I'm also learning how much God loves to take our burdens, all of them, but especially the ones that are too heavy for us to even drag across the green pastures. I am finding rest, peace, contentment, because I have had no choice but to drop it all, the worry, the stress, the anxiety, and let Him carry it. I can't pick it up, because if I even try, my heart starts breaking and I feel the panic coming on and I can't even move. So there it goes, on His shoulders, the One who delights in me turning to Him for help.

I'm learning...I'm learning how to just be. How I don't need to be plugged in and tuned in to music and internet and friends and books and whatever else may vie for my attention at any given moment. I am learning to just sit, to soak in the silence, to reboot my mind with the quiet of the wind. To reenergize with the rays of the sun. To quiet my soul with His Word during naptime. To just be, and have that be enough for the moment.

What would you tell me if we were sitting down for coffee together?

Insert a few crazy kids running around screaming, interrupting us every now and then, and you've just had coffee in my cozy little apartment with me. Thank you, friend, for joining me! Same time next week?

Comments

  1. Prayers for you and your family!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm definitely praying for you. I hope this upcoming transition goes smoothly.

    What would I tell you? That today was a fairly good day. I didn't lose patience, and my living room is surprisingly clean. I'm exhausted though and bed us nowhere in sight yet.

    I'm glad we had real... Caffeine (soda this week) together on Wednesday, though it was odd to not have you here today!

    ReplyDelete

Popular Posts