Life isn't always what it used to be.

Sometimes it isn't fair...when you're used to life being one way, for so long it's one way...and then it changes. As long as it takes you to fill your lungs with breath and let it back out into the world, your entire life can re-route and look nothing as it did a few seconds ago. People who were there for years, decades, are gone. Relationships that were familiar, they just fade. No matter how hard you try to push your way back in, it's like thinking you're putting on your favorite pair of jeans, only to find someone threw them away and bought you new ones.
And you try to wear this new way of life. Wear it like a familiar and favorite pair of jeans, but it doesn't feel ok. It feels wrong. It makes your chest tighten and your heart pinch and your thoughts stay clinging to how it used to be.
I've had a lot of those moments. Where one second life is life and it's carefree and I've worked so hard to be happy and then poof. Poof and it's just gone. In 1 second flat the universe is ripped apart and I'm laying flat on my back staring straight up at a sky that's gaping wide open ready to spill out and smother the earth. My earth.
And He's always there. Always steady. A mountain. 8 foot eagle wings taking me higher and higher and higher above this entire life with it's inconsistencies and fallacies and broken promises and empty hopes. His yoke so light, my yoke on His shoulders, and I wince, because I know in my bones how heavy that yoke is, and He must be so strong, and I marvel. He is all-powerful. How easily I forget how much those shoulders can take.
The secrets we all hide, the things we don't tell another soul, the deep, ugly things, He sees them. He hears them. Plain as day, plain as reading the newspaper on a Sunday morning, He can hear and see and feel it all. Sometimes I wonder how He can stand us. I bet the angels wonder that. "They spit at You and reject You day in and day out. Who has an undivided heart among them? Who truly loves You enough to sacrifice their own comfort and wants for Your glory?"
My yoke, my secrets, my most secret feelings and dealings, and the thoughts I keep hidden and all of the people I try to help, the little hearts I'm trying not to ruin, the relationships I'm trying to strengthen- and He grabs my face and He says "STOP. Stop trying. This yoke is crushing you. Give Me this. Give Me everything. Trust is the first and last thing you must learn."
Just like that everything can change, and your whole life can swerve off course without warning, without so much as a heads up. It will happen. Jesus knew pain and sorrow and suffering, and if we are to be like Him, if that is our heart's deepest cry, then we too must know pain and sorrow and suffering. But He gives us those 8 foot eagle's wings, and we can soar with Him. Are we standing on Him, are we refreshing our wandering minds with the Truth of who He is, are we ready? Are you ready?

Comments

  1. Thank you. It's as if this was written for me.

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  2. Beautiful and completely applicable to my life as well. Thanks so much Mb!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Jenn! Praying for you and the transition <3

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