Weeds & Wildflowers

I just read a status update by a friend, and in it she talks about last night's bedtime, and how crazy it was with 4 boys. I loved it. I can so relate. I only have 3 boys, but I'm pretty sure the one I'm pregnant with is a boy, and he isn't making life very easy on me either. {i keep saying it's a boy, because I want a girl so badly, i'm pretty sure that's not normal}
She talked about how in life, there are weeds (the hard times during bedtime routine) and then there were unexpected flowers (her boys asking her to sing and cuddle, just like when they were little) blooming right at the end, that made the memory of the weeds dim, if only a little, and reminded her of the preciousness of the beautiful boys that were her sons. I love her.
My life lately looks a lot like one of those empty lots you see, in between all those really nice fancy houses. It's overrun with weeds. And there are huge boulders and empty beer cans, but I'm not sure what those symbolize, so we'll just skip right on over those.
It's so incredibly easy to hide away. Facebook makes it easy to post pictures of how awesome this liiiiiiitle bit of 14 seconds was, and lets you keep secret how terrible the rest of the 14 seconds were. Like this picture I posted last night that got quite a few "likes."
because tuna is just that much more attractive
in the shape of a gingerbread man,
riding a boat on a stormy sea of caramel.

Super mom! What a fun little way to make tuna less disgusting for children! Actually, my kids love tuna, and eat it no matter how it looks. But I thought this would be fun. It was actually my way of satisfying the guilt I had for being sucky mom of the year the entire day. And what the world didn't see, was that my sink, over to the left of the picture, was overrun with dishes from the last 2 days. My counters {over to the right of the picture} were barely visible under food scraps and empty containers. There were 5 children either crying, screaming, or punching each other at my feet. And I was looking like, well, like a stay at home mom of 5 under 3, who is in her 1st trimester and just wants to not be pregnant already. It had been 11 hours since husband was home. I was tired and grouchy and nauseous and that was the best I could do for dinner. {weeds}
And then we sat down to eat, and the boys shrieked, I kid you not, shrieked, with pleasure at the shape of the little man and the 3 or 4 pieces of sprinkles for the face. They laughed and squealed, "I ate his NOSE! ahahahahahahahah" or "I just ate his mouth! oh no!!! hahahahahahah!!" It was so funny, I laughed right along with them and just watched as they kept eating those poor gingerbread men, leg by arm by face. Miah pipes up and asks, "How did you make these arms and legs mommy?!" He loves to asks questions about everything. Good, except for when I'm done telling him his "pretend story" right before bed, and he wants to know all about the back-story, and I'm just like, "it was a 10 second story about a monster truck fighting a dinosaur. that's just the end. No more questions. Ever."
I digress.
So I said, "A cookie cutter!" and he puts his little pointer finger on his chin and says, "Oh, that reminds me, I'm going to do this for my kids when I grow up." And my heart just seriously melted all over my dirty living room floor. {flower} And then Judah said, "I'm a platypus!" And Coco threw his sandwich on the floor, uneaten, and threw his milk sippy at me, and I was just done with supper forever. 
So that lot, with all those overgrown weeds and riffraff, well, there are those dainty little daisies popping up every now and then. Or those really pretty purple thistley ones that horses like to eat. And sunflowers. Sometimes flowers are brave and strong enough to push their way up through the pokies and trash, but you have to get really close and actually look for them. They are there. 
In the middle of my day, when all I want to do is lock myself in the freezer with a pint of strawberry ice cream and Netflix, I can't do that because I have 5 children who need me. But I can be ready for those flowers that pop up, unexpectedly and beautiful, and cherish those fleeting baby faces that remind me of my boys when they were just little blobs. Or the question "can I cuddle wit you on the couch mommy?" that are all too rare nowadays. Or the way Coco says, "I wuv ooo mommy." the way my husband makes them laugh so hard I almost pee just watching. {my field of wildflowers}
I don't believe it, but everyone keeps saying how toddlers grow up, and when that actually happens with my kids {yeah right}, I'm not going to miss this entire stage at all. But I will miss them. Their faces and chubby thighs they still let me munch on, and their crooked first teeth and just them. But just like dried and pressed flowers, where you only have the distant memory of how glorious and beautiful the flower was, pictures only capture and retain so much of the glory of the actual moment. So gather those flowers to you and inhale deeply. Because they are fleeting and just beautiful and plenty enough to get you through those weeds of today. 



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