His WWJD bracelet and big blue eyes....9 years today
He was tall and handsome and laughing next to a gorgeous blond when I first laid eyes on him. I can't tell you what it was about him that caught at my heart. Maybe it was the big, full smile. Maybe it was the blue eyes. Or even the red WWJD bracelet on his wrist? All I know is that with heart beating wild, I stopped him in the hallway one afternoon after Art class and invited him to Youth Group. He looked at me completely surprised, and said, "yeah. Sure." And smiled. I was done for.
Way before we became an official "thing", we talked on the phone for hours and hours and hours. No topic was off-limits. We dreamed of Heaven and giggled over cloud cars and trampolines in our mansions. He sang Shania Twain songs to me when I had a bad day. I yearned for him to hold my hand when I drove him to the Salvation Army parking lot where he was to be picked up after church. And I thought of him as I drove to visit a college 2 states away, wondering where this friendship was leading us.
The night it became clear to me that I wanted to be with him forever, he had just gotten his driver license. I had just gotten off work, and there he was, sitting in the parking lot of Runza, big goofy grin pasted thick, eyes shining. I knew it was the night to tell him I loved him. I had brought my "future husband" folder with me, prepared to utter the 3 words I had only ever told my daddy. I wasn't going to wait for him to make the first move. I knew I loved him. I knew he loved me. And it was time to officially start dating. Everyone knew we were headed that direction, and tonight was the night.
We sat there, nervous, both of us feeling the seriousness of the moment. It was December, cold and frosty, the van was warm, and my heart was beating wild. I brought out the folder, more sure about him than I had ever been about anything in my life, that he was the one I was to give this to. I was only 17, he was only 16, and it felt crazy, but love makes you do crazy things.
He took it with tears in his eyes, and he told me he loved me. It took me several minutes to say it back, the fear of past boyfriend's words and actions plaguing, fear of committing myself so thoroughly to another person. But as I said those words, I felt peace. Great, rushing peace. What was God doing? We had only known each other for 3 months, and it already felt like years. He was home, he was family, he was my future.
Our first kiss was on the floor of my grandparents living room, country music videos playing on the TV, and he got a bloody nose and bled all over my face. I was mortified. Not only because we had just kissed and that was new and weird, but also because HE JUST BLED ALL OVER MY FACE. We laugh so hard about it now, but then, oh my young self was so disgusted she didn't talk to him for days. During our first dance his braces cut my forehead and we just knew, one day, all these moments would make us laugh in remembering those awkward growing pains of young love.
9 years....it's been 9 years to the day since I saw him for the first time, and my heart really does still beat wild. When he's holding Joey and singing to him, rocking him to sleep. When he wrestles with the 3 big boys and gets them to laughing hard enough to give them all the hiccups. When he's talking about his love for Jesus and his passion for ministry. When we're sitting together on the couch in a silent house and I look at him and see that 15 year old boy, so different, so changed, with the same big heart and blue eyes.
He is home, he is my family, he is my future. I don't know what that future holds, if I will have to say goodbye before I want to, or if we have 80 years left together...but I'm no longer afraid, because my God is able to sustain me through anything. Right now, I can grab Trevor's hand any time I need to, knowing it's always there to hold me up and lead me on.
Today, I celebrate what God did 9 years ago when he brought us together, high school sweethearts, young and crazy and in love. And we're still young and crazy and in love, with 4 beautiful babies that daily remind me of their incredible daddy. Thank you, Lord, for, in your wisdom, bringing Trevor into my life almost a decade ago.