Ya'll gonna make me lose my mind (this summer)



"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Prov 27:17


     I have a lot of women I admire. Jen Hatmaker and her witty, hilarious accounts of her home life and work life. How faith intersects so vitally with motherhood and career and marriage. Or Glennon Doyle Melton, and her incredible ability to take the human language and mold it to reveal exactly the truest right thing about whatever she's talking about. And she's hilarious. And fierce.
     I have a lot of women I admire in my personal life, and I think that's more important. Real life, flesh and blood women I can look in the eye and look at their lives and learn from. They teach me what is good, how to love my husband in real time, how to be a real parent.
     I haven't really been hanging out with other moms as much as I could be. But a friend had invited me out yesterday and I made myself say yes. It had been a few weeks since my last outing. I isolate myself a lot, because I feel like a freaking hot mess guys. I really do. Most day we just hang out at home. I don't have the motivation to clean my house for guests and schedule playdates at parks where my kids have to wear pants and shoes. 
     We show up to the park late. And my boys were being really....themselves. Joey's screaming he has to poop, Judah's already complaining how bored he is (we were literally not even out of the van yet) and in a moment of something I can only describe as complete insanity, I had just purchased all 4 boys bottles of pop. Really mom? You want to sharper your sword a little more and lean in a little harder here? SMH.
     But as my friend and I started talking, something beautiful began to unfold. I started to feel...normal.
     She was opening up to me and I realized I'm not alone. Other moms have searched for jobs this summer. Other moms have googled daycares and all natural remedies for aggression in children and day dreamed about vacations all by themselves. Other moms feel like terrible human beings because they yell at their kids and can't handle the constant stress. Other moms want to scream and cry because of the fighting. The.constant.fighting. Other moms give in occasionally and give their children crappy food because it's just easier and we just can't even. We can't. I literally grew up on canned tomato soup and white bread and plastic cheese sandwiches. I need to give myself a freaking break.
     We need each other moms. We do. We weren't meant to do it alone. And if you have a husband who's job gets really busy in the summer like mine does, and you feel the weight and burden even more, it's even more vital that we reach out. Because when another mama says she was tempted to make a margarita at 10am and you couldn't sympathize with her more, that's gold. That's what we need. We need honesty and we need mama's who have our backs. "I'll give you adult conversation so you don't put a knife through your eye if you make lunch so I don't want to drink tequila at 10am." Or something like that.
    We can do this without day drinking and getting jobs we don't really want, if you stay at home full time. Or if you work, and you still can't even with your kids, well yeah, talk about a full plate. That's a lot mama. It is. But we can do this. We can. And if you find yourself in a dark place and need someone to talk to, I am not judgmental, you can talk to me, and we will get you help. I go to an amazing church where I have found love and family and truth. And most of all, press in to the One who understands that we are human, because Jesus doesn't want perfect. He wants you. Just you. As you are.

Comments

  1. Love it!! So true!! It was so hot yesterday and I did not feel like socializing with others or putting MY swimsuit on! I decided to let the kids play in the sprinkler in the back yard. Dogs outside too. Now I have a few minutes to myself. Before you know it, Rachel (5) comes in with a dog. "Mom! Juliet is really dirty!" I lifted the dog up before it ran on my off white carpet. (Not smart previous house owners!) I put the dog in the bathtub. Mud was dripping off of her. Gave her a bath. Next Rachel brought in the next dog. "Stitch is dirty too." I quickly gave him a bath. Well, I jumped in the shower because now I am a filthy mess. After getting dressed, I went outside. I asked the kids why the dogs got so muddy. (Usually their feet just get dirty with the sprinkler.) Noah says, "Rachel was taking mud and rubbing it all over them." Rachel and I had a great discussion about the dogs, sprinklers, and mud. Rachel got to help me with the pile of laundry and cleaning the bathroom from all the mud.

    Being a mother is a huge job. I spent over 1 hour between the dog baths and cleaning up the mess just because I wanted a few minutes to myself and I did not want to leave the house. CRAZY! I told my hubby my story and he was so helpful to make dinner with me. Kids all showered and we let the backyard dry up. Kids to bed. Today is a new day and things are going well. We do need each other. Life is exhausting and laundry is endless. We need each other to listen and to understand what it is like to have an idea blow up in your face. Thank God for friends and family. Thank God for our family in Christ. Well written MaryBeth. May God continue to bless us with raising our children and for others to lean onto when we need them. It truly does take a community!!

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    1. Oh my goodness! Yes!! Thank you for your story! It helps to know other moms have intense days. It really does. Today I've just been blasting dance music and playing and really making goofiness a priority. Can't do that every day, but it sure helps the anxiety!! Love to you Tanya!

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